Sundays can be my favorite day of the week! I look forward to Sunday because for my family and me it is a sacred day set apart for worshipping God and fellowshipping with other people who may need friendship and who all need God's love recognized in their own lives. Now as I communicate my view on Sunday worship, immediately I have many concerns, and serious hinderances to my church going. The bricks hit me in the head again! Oh, yea I have Parkinson's. Well, how could this affect church going? Many painful ways. For me, Parkinson's has disabled my body from tolerating any kind of chemical. Now we all know our world is made of up chemical thanks to man's ingenuity and creative work; or is it creative stupidity? I try to be positive but on this point I don't know how. When I go to church I know that most likely the rest of that day and a few days to come I will experience the lingering effects of all the chemicals that come together in a church congregation gathered into a chapel. Women are wearing perfume, men are wearing cologne, after shave, the custodians just used cleaners to wipe down the woodwork, they've just given the carpets a deep cleaning, the large, flourescent lighting emits chemicals into our eyes, the bathroom soap is a harsh, industrial type, the bathrooms are cleaned weekly with chemicals. My body cannot process and eliminate chemicals like yours can. It stays in my blood stream, then into my brain where it continues to hamper the production of neurotransmitters. I was told by my first neurologist that the medical community pretty much agrees on one thing concerning Parkinson's and that is that environmental chemicals are the #1 cause of Parkinson's. Those of us who are unlucky enough to have the DNA marker for it will always suffer because of man's industry. I have my entire house stripped of any chemical. This is one of the biggest reasons I do as well as I do. I see in some peoples eyes as I explain this phenomenon of being sensitive to chemicals that I am surely exaggerating and I just need to get over it. That's ok. You can never understand an illness of this nature, not really, unless you've lived it.
Now, I love going to church. I have a very strong belief system that keeps me going. I need to go to church and be involved as much as I am physically and mentally able. In doing this, however, I sacrifice healthier days. The good people of my church's congregation are so loving and good to me. They all seem to be very intuitive to how I'm feeling; they've known me long enough to do this. There are always some who are insensitive no matter how long you know them. That's ok too. I can't control peoples reactions or what chemicals they bring to church. I can control my outlook and reaction to them. I know how much I can handle and when it's time to go home. For the most part I enjoy Sunday and learning about God's plan for me and for all of us. Parkinson's is part of my plan. I never complain to God about it, anymore.... He reassures me, gives me peace, and tools to deal with it. Many people have it much worse than me.
I am still self conscious about my appearance, shaking body, stiff hands, sluggish speech. These are symptoms one might notice on a down day for me. As with my ballroom friends, most people don't know or forget that I have Parkinson's until something comes along to aggravate it.
Today was a lovely Sabbath filled with the Holy Spirit teaching me. I had a hard time staying awake, and not crying. I take pain medicine which makes me drowsy and sometimes my Parkinson's meds have an affect akin to 'hyperactive'. Drowsy and hyperactive together do not make for comfort. I forced myself to make it through the three hour block of time that my church meets because I needed to be with my church friends and feel God's love today. I learned much, experienced tender moments; I would gladly sacrifice some healthier days for these things. What I find at church is not available anywhere else....Parkinson's is forgotten once again as I am wrapped in the all consuming love and spirit of God whom I most often refer to as my Heavenly Father.
Now, I love going to church. I have a very strong belief system that keeps me going. I need to go to church and be involved as much as I am physically and mentally able. In doing this, however, I sacrifice healthier days. The good people of my church's congregation are so loving and good to me. They all seem to be very intuitive to how I'm feeling; they've known me long enough to do this. There are always some who are insensitive no matter how long you know them. That's ok too. I can't control peoples reactions or what chemicals they bring to church. I can control my outlook and reaction to them. I know how much I can handle and when it's time to go home. For the most part I enjoy Sunday and learning about God's plan for me and for all of us. Parkinson's is part of my plan. I never complain to God about it, anymore.... He reassures me, gives me peace, and tools to deal with it. Many people have it much worse than me.
I am still self conscious about my appearance, shaking body, stiff hands, sluggish speech. These are symptoms one might notice on a down day for me. As with my ballroom friends, most people don't know or forget that I have Parkinson's until something comes along to aggravate it.
Today was a lovely Sabbath filled with the Holy Spirit teaching me. I had a hard time staying awake, and not crying. I take pain medicine which makes me drowsy and sometimes my Parkinson's meds have an affect akin to 'hyperactive'. Drowsy and hyperactive together do not make for comfort. I forced myself to make it through the three hour block of time that my church meets because I needed to be with my church friends and feel God's love today. I learned much, experienced tender moments; I would gladly sacrifice some healthier days for these things. What I find at church is not available anywhere else....Parkinson's is forgotten once again as I am wrapped in the all consuming love and spirit of God whom I most often refer to as my Heavenly Father.
The picture here is of me (in white) and three of my closest friends at church who continually inspire me and care about me. They all have hard things to deal with as well. Yet, they are at church with me and what a sweet thing that is.
I was asked to offer a prayer twice today, sat with my family (my husband, 19 year old son, and 10 year old daughter) then shared time with the women of the congregation learning more about how to keep the Sabbath holy. I made two new friends who are new to the ward (a word our church uses instead of 'congregation'). I am renewed in spirit for another week. Parkinson's or not another week is coming. I'm ready. Mind you, not every Sunday is this positive but I treasure the moment when it is.
1 comment:
I really like the posts you have been doing about life with parkinson's. I am sure it is nice to have an outlet to share your feelings with. Love you.
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