A Journey of One Day #3

Friday, November 26     The day after Thanksgiving

According to research in the recent neurology world, just thinking hopeful thoughts helps your brain to produce dopamine; the thing my brain lacks.
And according to the work and writings of Janice Walton-Hadlock, the newest pioneer (in my estimation) in conclusive PD patient help, dopamine has it’s use and need in many parts of the brain, not just the motor area. She also proves that the marvelous human brain makes no mistakes. It does whatever is necessary to protect itself to keep our bodies functioning at whatever level. It is man that makes mistakes with his/her actions, words, thoughts, with harmful drugs, etc.  And if a brain which has taken significant injury due to emotional trauma and harmful drugs, it will need very specific actions to recover. The key here is that it is possible to recover to a certain point, depending on the person’s particular body and situation.  This is happening. PD patients are recovering to the point of normalcy. Mind you, they are few and they are not spotlighted by anyone.  It is against the law to be cured of disease. It makes more than one medical professional nervous when you start talking about recovery from Parkinson’s.

However, these few individuals are speaking up and speaking out to find others who may have the courage and desire to recover as well.  It is happening!  BUT………………..it is a long and arduous nightmare if not approached correctly. This process is understood by very few.

To undergo this transformation from PD to ‘normal’ one must make a complete lifestyle change. This change is to allow the ‘adrenaline’ brain to be turned off and the ‘dopamine’ brain to re-awaken. These changes for me include doing nothing but focusing on relaxing my body, clearing my mind of the past negative ‘things’, sleeping, meditating, connecting with God, laughing, doing whatever is necessary to develop the dopamine brain back into action. This process in the brain of awakening dormant dopamine activity can take 6 months or longer after clearing the brain of all drugs. 

90% of my existence in the next 6 months will be in my home, chemical free, controlled temperature, a quiet, spiritual atmosphere, safe and nurturing. This is what I need as well as some Bowen Therapy and some specific nutrition. My family knows they will be functioning without me in a manner.
While I wait for native dopamine to build, I experience hard moments which require extreme faith in the future and knowledge that God is beside me.
For example, yesterday I had 2 hours of time where I could move freely without struggling. The rest of the 22 hours I sat or lay motionless or shuffled around at a snail’s pace.  You should have seen me trying to tell my husband how to make a pie for Thanksgiving. Funny….

This is my only alternative to the horrors of dyskinesia caused by PD drugs. I’m at the point of no return. It’s only forward without the drugs.
My hands are shutting down now as my body uses the available dopamine for things like breathing and maintaining body temperature. Movement is on the back burner until further notice.

We spent Thanksgiving eating and watching old movies. Relaxed, loved, focused on ‘hope’. I feel my brain and body changing, no longer driven by adrenaline. It’s like James Brown’s song……..I feeeeeeel good………..sort of.

Here are some things that give me hope-

my newly remodeled living room and our kitty named Whisker’s

beautiful birds that visit my backyard, large and small

 brilliant sunsets

I’ve been typing with one finger for some time now. Time for meditation and sleep even though I only got up 2 hours ago……

A Journey of One Day #2

A new day dawns rainy, cold. I watch out my window as two tiny yet stout birds find morning sustenance among my backyard plants. One is content to sit on the concrete and enjoy his meal unaware I am ten feet from him. His friends are in the tree above him and beckon him up. They are protected by the thick foliage of this tree and the camouflage it provides.  One or two of them come down and grab a bite quickly then they are gone again. They are no bigger than a small egg.  They seem to have limitless energy. Watching them has brought my hands to life.
I was awake early today. I said goodbye to my darling as he journeyed yet another time the long road to his job. I have the thought in my head to find all the candles we have and organize them and put them somewhere they will be easily accessible. I am prompted to go and buy some more today.  That is done. I sit at my computer and read emails and listen and read uplifting words and one from an interesting lady named Keisha Crowther talking about how the world, earth, is changing and will be changed completely to it’s Heavenly state within 2 years and how we should prepare, change the way we live to reflect only the heart and love and not fear what is coming but glory in it.
It is quiet, peaceful, warm in my house.  Ariana and her friend, Lexia are still asleep. Their school has a fall break this entire week.  I look at my hammock, outside the slider door on the patio, bare of any covering now, waiting out the cold like me. I have such warm, wonderful memories of lying in my hammock feeling the sun on my body, comfortable and relaxed.
I am anticipating the next week to be hard for my body as I deny it the drugs it has had for 6 years now; just a little at a time will I do this so as to not cause severe shock.
I experience tightness in my diaphragm, nausea, sleepiness. It will probably get worse. I know that they are temporary symptoms of withdrawal. I have the power to overcome this and recover my central nervous system. I disengage from the emotions that have kept me living in my past. I move forward one step, one day at a time preparing for tomorrow by living today fully.
I am enjoying the bird life out in my backyard this morning. I’ve seen five different kinds of birds come to drink and eat from my yard even though it is raining.  These are California winter birds.  My cat, Whiskers, has joined me now and is excitedly looking for birds also. She paces to the other side of the room now then leaves because all the birds have gone for now.
I am thankful for this warm, cozy home, for my eyes to see the beauty of the earth, for my hands that create words here and do so many things, for my brain that has the power to heal itself. 
Heavenly Father is with me always, his light and the light of Christ are in me; sustaining me moment to moment just as he sustains these birds. He knows me as I know Him.
I have no doubt that I will recover my health and in a few short years the earth will be renewed with the Savior’s presence and we will all be renewed with perfect bodies; what a thought!
The day is before me. I reverence it as another opportunity to learn and grow and share my love and be better than I was yesterday. 

The day
This day now
Thoughts, actions
Compelling, sustaining
Intellect, consciousness
Beauty, harmony
Thanksgiving, patience
Solitude, humanity
Nature, love,
Forgiving, enduring
Exciting, adventure                                                                                         Family    , neighbors, friends
Black and white kitty
Rain, green trees,
Red and yellow trees
Sky, air, breathe
Awareness, priorities
Prepare, Rest, Play
Enjoy, Remember.
The day.
This day.
Now.                                               


Tracy/ Mom                               
November 23, 2010                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 

A Journey of One Day #1

Each day in my journey to the life of 'No Drugs, No PD' is monumental. As I type with one hand at a snail's pace, I look forward to using both hands.  As my body and my brain go thru this change I'm not 100% sure what to expect except that the outcome will be better than previous circumstances. This statement may be controversial to some but for me it's the only acceptable choice.

A JOURNEY OF ONE DAY

A day in a life is a cycle of happening.
An hour in the day is a small child napping.
A minute in the hour is a waiting period.
A second within the minute is thought varied.
Or is it buried?

A day, a day, a day for what?
A day for me, it means so much.
An hour or two, a minute, a second
They’re full of meaning, never vacant.

A day is for living, thinking, learning.
A day is for pondering, loving, yearning.
A day is filled with great and profound moments,
They must not, must not pass by- unnoticed.

A cycle, an hour, a minute, a second
What just happened? Can you see it and reckon?
The thought, the feeling, the word, the gesture.
Is the makeup, the heart of our moments’ architecture.

Repetition, experience; ‘round the cycle we go
Does it e’er stop? We cannot know.
The cycle like the moment consists of memories.
Things most likely to be found in diaries.

An hour of power.
What do we do with an hour?
Just part of a schedule?
Or time in the shower?

An hour like a clock, never stops counting on
On to the next hour, on to the dawn.
Waking, working, wanting, willing
Praying, earning, stopping, filling.

Wake me in an hour
Or else I’ll be sour.
I’ll be back in an hour.
With a bouqet of spring flowers.

Mind the minutes of your existence.
Define them, remember them. Be persistent.
Wait a minute. Do you have a minute?
What is it about……………….?
It’s about the here and now, the infinitesimal minute.

Seconds in a day are like sands of the sea.
Coming and going, filling our needs.
A second passed is gone forever.
While it’s here, it must be savored.

The journey of time in one day is mystical.
For man it could be simple, even whimsical.
For God it is purely logical and spiritual.
Together they make the journey of one day eternal!

In the eternal setting, it all makes more sense, has a different value and clearer perspective. Heavenly Father knows. That's good enough for me.