A Journey of One Day #8 Notes

Thursday December 23, 2010    notes

On Saturday the 18th my withdrawal symptoms hit their worst.  I was completely frozen except for walking.  My hands could not move, I could barely speak and for the first time I didn’t know what to do and I was feeling hopeless.  Earlier in the day I began to cry and could not stop but didn’t know why exactly I was crying.  Cody had come to see me that evening and we had a good visit; a very emotional but positive interchange.  About 7:00 PM I decided to call Elaine Morris to have her help me do some JSJ.  She agreed to help.  She worked on me for two hours at which time I was moving again.  That is, to the degree that I was before the extreme freezing set in.  That night I was racked with whole body spasms most of the night.  In the morning I took a Dilaudid which calmed down the spasms.  I then slept most of the day until about 1:00 PM.  My hands are still not moving well enough to function on my own.  I went back to Elaine’s again.  She did more JSJ for another two hours.  I had another hard night though not as many body spasms.  On Monday morning I had Tracy go get some Lobelia tincture to help with the body spasms.  It seemed to help taking twenty drops at a time.  I didn’t want to rely too much on Dilaudid since it is also habit forming.  I went back to Elaine’s again and met Tdok.  Elaine and I discovered through muscle testing that I had the trapped emotion of shame in my hands and I needed to release it in order to regain the movement of my hands with or without Dopamine.  We used the Emotion Code method of 110 swipes with a magnet.  I will continue to go to Elaine’s each day to have her do JSJ until I can do it on myself.  I am noticing a gradual increase (very gradual) of improvement in all aspects of motor function.  It seems that my hands are the last place that my body sends Dopamine for now.  Last night I slept on Ariana’s bed to try to get through the night without waking up Tracy.  Her bed is situated such that I can lay more comfortably and turn myself over.  Her room is also quite warmer.  So I need less blankets.  I found that I rested fairly well.  I woke up at 12:30, 2:30, 3:30, 5:30, and then got up at 7:00.  Even though I woke up a lot I went back to sleep each time and slept fairly well until my body got too stiff in that position.  I didn’t have as many body spasms and only used Lobelia.  I’m going to increase the frequency of doses of Lobelia to every two hours to help the stomach cramping and the overall body cramping.  I believe that the trouble that I have with swallowing is simply cramping of the esophagus and it is also a withdrawal symptom.  I believe the JSJ is playing a big role in the speed and ease of my recovery.  I will continue to have it done or do it everyday.  My Dopamine system is still awakening and my muscles are still weak from the absence of the adrenaline I have lived on for ten years now.  I am convinced that my slowness of movement is due to, in part, a mere general weakness of muscle tissue rather than a Dopamine deficiency.  I have learned in my readings of Janice Walton-Hadlock that as I continue to recover my Dopamine system, it will be important to avoid extreme cold, any kind of infectious disease like a virus or bacteria and social stress.  These three things are all big Dopamine depleters. By the way these last few posts I have had someone else typing as I am not able to unless I want it to take me three days.  And thanks to my dear husband and daughter, I get dressed, bathed and fed everyday.  I believe the worst of the non-function days are behind me.