Life with an illness and 'healing'

It's been a while since I have been able to sit myself in front of an empty post page. As does everyone inevitably experience, I have been physically and a bit spiritually ill. I've come through the cycle and I'm on top again. It's a very interesting and sometimes mystifying experience.

I am now wanting to find my balance. Something that keeps me in the middle a little longer; not so up and not so down. Sounds easy. It's not. I've been 'trying' to find the balance for as long as I can remember. I am learning, slowly I might add, that every thought, word, and action I emit from my mind, my mouth and my body has a repercussion somewhere and to someone; usually me.

I was reading today a book about 'healing'. The author was explaining how in her workshops she asks people what they are willing to change in their lives in order to bring healing. Diet, exercise, job, friends, home, even belief systems. So I have been thinking about what changes I need to make in order to see more healing in my physical body. It's not easily answered.

What is easily answered is there is much good in my life and yet I still struggle with illness. The author of my 'healing' book also suggests that we experience illness sometimes because our spirits need to learn something. And when we learn it, we may then heal. But this also can only be in accordance with God's will; our purpose in this life.

For some months now, I had all ready come to the conclusion that I am thankful for my illnesses throughout my life because they have taught me what nothing else could. The things I learned and am still learning are on a deep, personal, even spiritual level. But I have so much more to learn.

As I prepare to attend, with excitement, my 30 year high school reunion, I am looking forward to what I can and hope to learn from my interaction with old friends. I read a quote from one of them quoting Mark Twain. It kind of sums up part of my life. "When I was younger I could remember anything whether it happened or not."

I am looking forward to a kind of closure of my past high school personality. I remember things from foggy, skewed eyes. My sight and focus has changed dramatically as it does in most middle aged people. My illness has added insights and gratitudes that makes my reunion exciting.

So, we'll see what this next adventure will bring by way of wisdom, friendship, and plain old 'experience'. This, I believe, is what life is all about.