Life With Parkinson's in my 40's- #27 Feeling Sorry For Ourselves Are We?

I decided to write away  my anguish and self-pity today.  It's anguish that creeps up when I let my guard down or rather when I forget how blessed I am.  It's self-pity that turns me into a whining, crying less than dignified me.  The disease, Parkinson's (I almost typed 'my disease', it is not my disease) is trying once again to spread and gain strength.  I feel confident, almost, that this is another misunderstood set of symptoms and that my usual 'diseased state' will re-emerge.  It is a disease that is so misunderstood and not understood that the uncertain and shifting faces of PD will most likely never be revealed or explained.  It is my opinion that a disease that slowly steals your body away from your living soul is as unique to each soul who is 'lucky' enough to experience it as each physical body is unique.  God created our bodies to house our souls so we could gain experience and knowledge and wisdom.  Each body is as unique as each soul is unique. Thus we handle disease differently.  We handle life differently.  See where I'm going with this?

This past week I have had to forgo many activities because of PD.  It's not that I want to hide away.  My hands don't move when my brain tells them to.  I cannot smile.  I cannot stand up straight.  I cannot sleep.  When I do sleep it is full of awful dreams that leave me more exhausted than when I went to bed.  These outward physical appearances are hard for most people to watch or recognize or understand.  It is tiring explaining it to one more person and watching their reaction or trying to soften the blow  when they realize what I'm talking about.  God has blessed me with a few friends and family members, however, who do understand and know how to get through the awkward situations with everyone's self-esteem and happy moment still intact. 

I really miss the spontaneity of life.  Once in a while I have a spontaneous experience and I savor it.  Writing is like that for me.  Right now, my fingers are working so I'm writing (typing that is).  For now, that has to serve as my spontaneous moment. 

To all my dance friends, I want you to know that I relish every moment of dancing with you and sharing that part of us that we all love- dancing.  It is what has kept me going for some 6 years now since I was diagnosed.  Unless there are chemicals somewhere, dancing nearly erases all my PD symptoms.  The music, my perfect dance partner, and good friends who understand my desire to dance all feed my brain with PD fighting food.  Thank you for that.  You'll never know really how much you impact my existence for good.
To those of you who have answered my call to dance 'Something in Red' and 'Takin a Chance on Love'...thank you, thank you for giving me the experiences I have dreamed about.  I may never have another chance to experience something like that again.  Never take for granted the moments here and now when you can do whatever you want to do.  I will treasure the memories and the videos of these days and months we spent learning to dance as a group.  I can only hope I will be granted more time for more dancing.....

So, I'm feeling a little better, a little less whiny, a little less picked on.  Let me tell you what I have to be thankful for-
You all know what a wonderful husband I have.

 I have 3 beautiful daughters and 1 beautiful stepdaughter.  My two oldest girls are married to 2 perfect sons-in-law.  I have 1 perfect grandaughter.  And I have 1 sweet, wonderful son and 1 exceptional stepson.

I have a lovely home and friends like you.  I live in this amazing land of America where I can exercise my freedoms and God given agency.  I can walk, talk and dance.  I can see, hear and taste.  I have great parents and siblings, even though some of them don't know it.

I am blessed.  I feel even better.  PD is fading into the background again.  It's all good.  Thanks for listening.
Life goes on. Tomorrow will be better. 

A message to end with-
Saint Theresa's prayer;
May today there be peace within.  May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.  May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith. May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.  May you be content knowing you are a child of God.  Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.  It is there for each and every one of us.

I was blessed to capture this sunset over a foggy San Francisco bay with my camera.  My friend Patricia tells me 'I am out of this world' to have captured this picture!  This picture has come to be my beacon of hope in a new day.  I have faith the sun will rise again for everything and for everybody....in time,  in time.   I will savor today and hope for more time....

Life With Parkinson's in my 40's- #23 Beach Bums and Dancers

This month as we tried to decide on what we could afford as far as recreational activities and date nights, we had fun without spending a whole lot of money. The first choice for me is always dancing and/or the beach. We invited three dear ladies who we know from church to accompany us to our monthly ballroom dance with a live 'swing era' band. They are all widows and have really affected our lives with their kindness, wisdom, and pure love of Christ that they exhibit. They were thrilled and thoroughly enjoyed the music from their 'younger days'. One of them danced with Mr. Tracy.


*********Our dear friends- Wanda, Joanne and Dee-




I wore a dress that I had made previously and only worn once. This picture is of us on this night. I love red. People notice it and I just feel like I dance better in a dress like this. I'm sure I don't dance better but it feels like it. I've had a touchy week with PD. I always go on faith that I'm going to move well enough to dance without making a fool of myself. Most of the dance attendees do not know that I have PD and that's the way I like it. I took it very easy the entire two days before the dance night, got enough sleep, tried (just tried) to eat well. And on the day of the dance I time my medications just right as to give me peak utilization of it in the later evening. The atmosphere is fun, we have so many good friends there, the music is so uplifting, and dancing with my prince charming is so fulfilling.


********Our dance friends and wonderful people- Sal and Mary


*********John and Karen, Joe and Mary-



I never get enough dancing. I never last the full 3 hours anymore, but close. I wore a new pair of ballroom shoes and ended up with a few blisters but it's always worth it. Dance night was Saturday. Then on Monday morning, Labor Day, we took off at 8:00 am for Monterey. It's always a longer drive than I remember. But it's always worth it. We missed the low tide but still managed to climb out a ways and get some spectacular pictures. For all of my pics from this day you can go to flickr.com.


*********Me and my prince charming!



**********The girls!



*********More of me and the prince; a change of costume for me-



Getting ready to leave; walking on the beach is so peaceful even with noisy birds and tons of kids playin.


Now this is one of my luckier shots. Notice the sailboat, then the dolphin, and the birds feeding on fish; it's so cool!

There was spectacular surf. And there was also some daring surfers. I'll post those videos later.

These sea pelicans were performing thrilling aerial stunts. I could have watched them for days.

Our world is so beautiful. Our families are so beautiful. Life is good even when bad things happen. It's what you make of the 'things' that counts.


I was so thrilled to get lucky and catch these beautiful dolphins;the most beautiful, intelligent animals swimming the oceans.



Wishing you pleasant days, many wonderful memories and much love-

Life With Parkinson's in my 40's- #22 Dancing, Life, and the World

From Margie Gillis-

"Dance and its contribution to what is humanly possibly and what is health holds a place of honor in me.

I feel, it seems, incumbent upon us to find ways to keep alive the necessity of danc's contribution to society and to find a way to allow the public to know what is there in truth; that they themselvles, and their world of what is real and possible, is illuminated by being with us and supporting our work and research."

Dance is a universal human behavior."

Dance is the direct communication through nature of our human experience."

Dance, like nature, is a necessity and is sadly undervalued by society."


Oh Lord, don't move the mountain. Teach me how to climb.
Oh Lord, do not remove my stumbling blocks, but teach me to go around.

Life With Parkinson's in my 40's- #21 Dancing Queen or Healing Queen

I have had another wonderful insight into my own strange world of PD and dance. Over the last 8 years of struggling to control my body's movement, I have always known one thing and only one thing for sure; well about PD anyway. And that is that when I dance the PD becomes far less evident. Now, I know some of my spectators whether dancers or not have been very skeptical either about the fact that I even have PD in the first place because let's face it, typically PD patients don't dance??? And secondly that I really couldn't change all that much physically just because some music is on and I do some dance steps. I know there are some well meaning people of my acquaintance whom I attend church with who think I'm a little nuts because I claim to have PD and I claim to be a ballroom dancer and instructor.
Well....I have just met a lovely man with PD who found my writings and is quite excited about another PD patient who can dance! I found out through him that they are actually doing a study on PD patients and dance. They are mystified that music could heal, mystified at just how this could happen. These are neurologists. Why is this so hard. It's a no brainer (little pun there)! Music is recognized by a different part of the brain, it triggers positive emotions and chemicals that affect the PD symptoms. Dancing keeps the physical body healthier, muscles, etc. If you search my blog, you will find video's and pictures of me dancing.

My next door neighbors used to be a sweet Italian couple in their 70's; loved each other dearly. The wife had a stroke and couldn't speak any longer and was put in a care facility. Her daughter told me some time later that her mom could not speak but she could sing! Same concept.

I have been listening to positive affirmations and a self hypnosis script on headphones for about a week now. This is a communication to my subconscious that has been trained over a lifetime of 40 + years to feel certain emotions because of tramatic events when I was young. All of us have these tramatic emotional experiences in our brain somewhere. Listening to headphones allows a certain part of the brain to process what we are hearing differently than from a radio or from a cd. My dancing (music is a big part of it)and the self-hypnosis tape is changing my PD rapidly from severe to hardly any symptoms at all. Why? Because I am reaching the inner parts of my brain where the memories are harming me and I am reprogramming, making new neural pathways. Yes, it is possible! My neurologist doesn't want to hear it but it is true.

Now, mind you, I am still taking my PD meds but most Pd patients even with meds cannot function to care for themselves completely- so frustrating!!!! If I eat correctly, get good sleep (a hard thing with PD), do my meditation and hypnosis, and....DANCE I maintain a 'slowly improving' status pretty consistently.
There are a few doctors out there who believe this though I don't think any of them are neurologists! I'm sorry to all you neurologists who have studied and studied and really think you know best; you don't. You are too wrapped up in your profession to see the real picture. I am very blessed to have a doctor who sees the real picture and I thank the good Lord for him every day.

I stopped talking about this because I was talking to the wall and the air and my walls and airspace were all taken up with it. Now I know someone else is listening.
To my new PD friend who dances to move, see you on the dance floor!

*By the way- The song "The Dancing Queen" by ABBA is a great tune to do the samba to. We've just been teaching the samba to this song this very evening. I got home and read about PD patients who couldn't walk but they could move to the music of ABBA. Fantastic!

Life with Parkinson's Post #11- Excerpts From My Story entitled 'Isabel'

We opened the unobtrusive front door and stepped inside. The smell that permeated our nostrils was undeniably varnish; newly varnished wood floors. I had never seen anything so beautiful in all my life as this beautiful wood beneath my stocking feet. It was my first experience with wood floors. I was unable to decipher why I loved them so intensely. As we walked from room to room each was the same beneath our feet; gold striped satin that reflected my body as I moved. There was so much room here. I could get lost in the glorious roominess. We were about to embark on our first 'new home' adventure; newlyweds, four kids, and two cats. It would be a trick to make the payment. We decided as a family that we would sacrifice to do it and in return we would have 'room'! It was practically next door to the school our kids would attend for the next four years and in a respectable neighborhood. It was not spacious to some eyes. However, for us it was a castle. Space to walk without bumping corners. We endured a tiny apartment for as long as we could. The most fun we'd had in a long time was sliding from room to room in our stocking feet. There would be no heavy furniture for the first month until the new finish cured. It was a long month with all the furniture piled in the kitchen, garage, and one room with carpet but it was worth it. I was obsessed with the floors. They were a balm for my increasingly troubled mind. I cared for them lovingly. Something about them haunted me. Some months after I had my family settled in I realized why! People danced on floors like these. I could dance on these floors! The one I had to thank for this treasure of knowledge was my new husband, the love of my eternity. Before long, however, the joy of my new home, and lovely dance floors faded into the engulfing cloud of failing health. It was becoming evident to me and my husband that something was wrong, very wrong with me. How could it be? Oh, how could it be?

**************

I continued looking at my dance shoes still upon my feet; feet I had always regarded as somewhat large. They looked much smaller when I wore these shoes. The shoes had a life of their own. My feet did not hurt when I danced in them as if they transferred new energy to my feet each time I put them on to dance.

My eyes wandered to the mirror to determine how my dress had come through the performance. Were there any broken stitches or rips? No. I didn't see any. It wasn't uncommon to rip a seam during a dance. The fabric still felt good against my skin. I stood up in front of the dressing room mirror and began to twirl. My eyes never tired of watching the flaring skirt in the mirror and feeling the air move around me as my feet turned. My arms would move out for balance and the spin would pick up speed; the dress flaring our further. When I came to a stop the dress would bounce back to its starting position next to my legs.

I sat down again as my thoughts turned from my shoes and dress to my dance partner. He loved my flaring dress as much as I did. What a wonderful performance we had experienced. He had made this night possible for me. I suddenly wondered if he had gotten lost on the way to the dressing rooms. As I sat there immersed in my thoughts of him, he appeared in the doorway behind me reflected in the mirror.

"Hey, pretty lady. Do I know you? You are some dancer!" he said with a twinkle in his blue eyes.

"It's a stunning dress. You look beautiful in it."

He paused, his eyes taking me in as his emotions caught in his throat.

"You did well. They loved you. I love you."

It was always like this. He would build me up expecting nothing in return. He was an exceptional dance partner, soul mate and husband. What more could I ask for?

I moved to him and we were immediately swept into each other's embrace. We often remained this way a long while, savoring the heart to heart contact. Neither of us wanted to be the first one to pull away. We, somehow, knew when to release our grasp together. This moment was no different. We pulled back and looked at one another. I saw warmth and happiness in his face.

"You're the one who makes me look good", I replied.

"Thank you. Thank you for tonight!"

"You are most welcome", he answered and softly kissed me.

...to be continued

Life with Parkinson's Post #10- Excerpts From My Story entitled 'Isabel'

I didn't want to take off my dance dress; a dress I had designed and made. It transformed me. It was magic. Each time I put it on I felt like Cinderella. I twirled in front of the mirror. It flared out and uncovered my legs for a moment. I loved creating dresses that flattered a woman's figure yet retained a tasteful modesty. A beautiful, dancing body covered up did not distract the viewers eye from the dance itself and it allowed the them to use their imagination.
I had been taught in my youth to guard my virtue, even treasure it. Displaying myself in a costume that allowed too much information about my body was not an option. This dress was my best effort yet!
My dance shoes were one of my most cherished possessions. I had broken them in for the past five years as I danced. They fit my foot like a satin glove. They were like an old friend. I misplaced them once and cried, literally, in a panic until I found them two days later. They matched my dress delightfully well. I congratulated myself on this match I had made. I didn't want to take off my shoes either. So I didn't; at least not for another few minutes.

****************************************

Two days later I emerged from the fog of yet another migraine headache; one of my worst ones yet. The house was a mess. It made me sad to look at it so I didn't. My family would expect dinner as usual. What would I do for dinner? I was scared to venture out to the store. I was horrified at the thought of being back in the car. But who would pick up the kids? Natalie from the high school, Emma from the middle school, and David from the elementary school. It was crazy to have my kids in three different schools? Why didn't kids walk home from school anymore? My husband worked an hour away; he couldn't help me. I started to cry. Then I started to tremble. Was it trembling? It was like nothing I'd ever felt before. I was completely alone in my silent quest for answers to these seemingly insurmountable questions.......

Suddenly, I felt like I had forgotten something about today, something very important. Oh, what was it? I couldn't remember. More tears. I weakly considered praying for comfort. I had been taught to pray when I had nowhere else to turn. Instead I fell asleep on the couch while April played quietly on the floor, occasionally looking at her mother with the serious curiosity of a two-year-old who sensed the conflict but didn't understand it.

More to come....

Life with Parkinson's Post #9- Excerpts From My Story entitled 'Isabel'

'Isabel' is a story I wrote and even tried to get published. It was, as this writing is, a kind of therapeutic effort on my part to bring out all of my thoughts, feelings, and experiences that were not wholly positive and useful to my health and well being. Writing it completely changed by outlook on my past life and my future. I have changed my mind about publishing the entire story but I would like to share an excerpt or two with you. These excerpts represent my life's goals and inspirations in the wake of Parkinson's.


My breath came in short, hard, but controlled gusts. Sweat threatened to break through my carefully placed makeup and my form fitting dress. My feet felt like two bouncing balls at the end of their bounce. But I was not focused on these sensations. I only heard or rather felt the one thing that kept me moving. I was exultant! I was ecstatic! I was complete!

I had waited for this day for many long years. I was living my dream. I...was dancing. It was something I only thought about secretly, even afraid to consciously acknowledge the dream to myself, until I met my dance partner.

The music was escalating now. This was my favorite part...up into the air I went supported by the solid arms of my partner. Around and around I went, my gown flowing in the air in perfect harmony with the rhythm of the dance. The crowd screamed in pleasure and clapped intensely!

This moment was a culmination of years of sweat, tears and great physical and emotional pain. It was the sweetest moment I had ever experienced. I often asked myself if it was worth it. My answer was always an immediate YES!
It was a brilliant, beautiful move. My partner and I executed it perfectly, the music giving me the permission and the power to finish it. I felt strong yet graceful. The audience solidified the reality of these feelings with their display of gratitude.

The music slowed now. Strong, skilled arms brought me down gently but swiftly like a dove lighting on a fragile tree branch. I touched the ground and again my feet took over; moving my body with exactness, following that glorious music which seemed to flow through my heart and down into my feet. Now the crowd was quiet with anticipation. Many were leaning forward in their seats staring, waiting; not wanting this beautiful display of feeling to end. They were feeling it as much as I was. It would have been difficult not to.

The music ended; slowly, elegantly. My feet stopped! I was looking into the face of my husband; my dance partner. There was silence for a thrilling second. The entire room felt it. We had enjoyed a perfect ending to our dance together as we shared it with our audience. In that second our emotions transferred to one another through our eyes. We understood one another....

The audience erupted with joyous yet respectful applause. I wanted the moment to last forever. I turned with my husband to look at the source of applause. Such fulfillment was unbelievably good. I would do this again; as long as providence granted my body the strength and agility. I acknowledged my partner, then my audience, humbled and filled with gratitude for them. Eyes still watched as we exited the dance floor. As I departed hand in hand with my husband I met their eyes. I saw there a cheerful envy and respect...for my dance, for my partner, and...for me!

*********
It was the first inkling that something was wrong.

I was in the car...again; in my role as taxicab driver to my family. I spent a lot of time in the car running inbetween the kids' schools, baseball games, church activities and sundry other 'things'. Today I was preoccupied with something...? I couldn't move my left ring finger and pinky finger. They were stuck together like glue to the steering wheel. Just for a second...but they had definately been frozen, stuck. What was wrong with my fingers? I raised my hand up to scrutinize the two affected appendages as if my eyes would have the power to erase what I had just experienced.
"I was tired", I reasoned in my mind.
My hands needed something to do other than hold this piece of plastic and metal called a steering wheel that was forever before me. I quickly forgot about my sticky fingers as I arrived at the middle school. Into the car came thirteen-year-old Emma. Without so much as a glance at me, Emma's complaining, dominant personality spilled into the car and quickly filled it almost beyond my capacity to exist with it.
"Hi Mom. You will not believe what Elli did today! I'll never speak to her again..."
Her voice trailed off as I felt distracted again; with what? I was angry. Why was I angry? What was it?
"......I knew it was the worst day of my life, Mom, when I had to pull my retainer out of the garbage while the stupid boys, oh...stupid boys, stood there laughing. They could have helped me, but no, they acted like complete..."

I mumbled something about her having a better day tomorrow. It was my feeble way of trying to quiet the storm called Emma. Emma was so embroiled with the details of her awful day that she did not hear me.
"I would never act like that. What's wrong with boys anyway?" she continued; still not looking directly at me.

Did I imagine it or did my fingers stick together again? Oh, ...where were we? What street wa
s this? Where were we going again? I really wanted it to be home. I realized that Emma had stopped her tirade and was now looking at me.

"Mom, did you hear me? What's wrong?"
There was a look of utter exasperation on her face. In the back seat, my daughter, April, suddenly woke up crying; demanding to be let out of her car seat that she had cruelly been strapped into for over an hour. My whole body cringed at the sound of the frustrated screaming of my youngest child!

"Thanks Emma", I groaned. At that moment I was now fully angry. I wanted to make sure she understood this was not going to happen tomorrow. She would get into the car in silence so I would not have to bear April's screaming. I wanted to explain to my middle daughter that her problems were so small and silly compared to...compared to what? Yes. There were so many problems......

Her older sister, Natalie, a freshman in high school, had problems. April, who would soon have her first birthday, wanted her problem solved right now! Her brother, David, had his complaints as well. Although, David's personality had always been a bit sweeter than all of the girls put together. I wanted to make Emma understand.....but the only thing that escaped my lips that Emma's growing storm cloud did not blot out was a groan of impending pain as I realized I was feeling the small, sharp stab of an oncoming migraine.....


....more to come....

Life with Parkinson's Post #5- Discovering Lifelong Friends

This is a tribute and a huge, loving thank you to my special friends Michy (pronounced Mickey)and his wife and dance partner BJ. They came to Modesto a year ago and are leaving all ready to follow Michy's employment and education opportunities. They have left an indellible mark in the dancing community and on my heart.

They taught me and my husband what excellent ballroom instructors look like, helped me immensely improve my dancing skill, shared literally everything they have with us, brought many positive ideas to our ballroom dance club that needed a facelift, but most importantly they reached out in friendship which will last a lifetime. They are moving to the east coast, so far! But I am consoled in that friends are only an email or a phone call away. Hopefully they will return in two years when Michy's contracted time is up. Hopefully, hopefully...

BJ and I share not only a love of ballroom dancing but we are also both artists, and love to sew. She paints exquisitely. Their humor, wisdom and general cheerful dispositions are contagious and they make friends easily wherever they go. I'm sure there is someone in Virginia who needs their friendship as much as I did and do.

And as a parting gesture of honor and good faith to me and my husband, they have offered to give us a teaching opportunity that they started; teaching ballroom dance to a group of lovely people in the area who still want to learn more. They informed their class tonight that they are leaving soon and introduced us. It means a lot for them to have enough confidence in us to carry on what they started. We will do our best to be somewhere close to their level of teaching, communicating and spreading cheer.

Not long after we met, one night at a dance, they asked my husband and I to share a dance with them. I am so self conscious about my Parkinson's gait, etc. and I don't usually dance with anyone but my husband. I told them about Parkinson's. Michy just looked at me and said, "Ok." Then we had a dance together. I felt comfortable and secure and I don't think he realizes how he has helped my self esteem on the dance floor. BJ taught me some valuable skills in the west coast swing.

Thank you Michy and BJ!!! (I'm crying) . It's not fair you have to leave so soon. (still crying). You'll never know how deeply you have influenced my life. I will never be as graceful as BJ as long as I have Parkinson's but she always makes me feel like I am. (crying harder now).

Many things we go through in our lives like illness are made bearable because of loving friends. These two wonderful souls have made my life a little more bearable. I look forward to many years of friendship yet to come...

Here's to life... and friends....

Life With Parkinson's- Post #3 "Our Ballroom Dancing Night"

Last night was 'ballroom dancing night' for my husband and me. There was a time when I couldn't move well enough to walk a straight line and I didn't consider for a moment the possibility of dancing. My husband introduced me to the world of ballrom when we met 11 years ago. My physical abilities came and went and returned again. This, of course, is now a seemingly never ending cycle. It is present now more than it is gone. I preserve my strength and prepare myself all week to be able to have a successful 'ballroom dancing night'. It does more for my emotional and physical well being than any other form of exercise or activity. It is a great love for me and a big part of my life; even with Parkinson's. I have to work hard on my form, relaxing my tense muscles (not easy), executing dance steps in such a way that does not draw attention to my weaker, shakier appendages. Most of the general group of people that attend our dances are not aware that I have Parkinson's. Our closer circle of dance friends that I share this information with seem to be dumbfounded that it could be true and are very supportive of my efforts.

Granted, to dance I need to have taken my meds just so that day, have rested the entire day of a dance night, have proper, supportive dance shoes and attire that is warm enough and easy to move in. I also need my dance partner, my sweet, wonderful husband, who makes it all possible.

Last night was like many others. We danced to a live band for about 3 hours, socializing inbetween dances. I now serve as the president of the club so my dance nights are also filled with some administrative responsibilities that I share with an excellent group of individuals who make up our governing board.

We danced waltz's, fox trots, chacha's, rumba's, and west coast swings. When I am on the dance floor, I (mostly) forget I have Parkinson's. I'm like Cinderella; finally experiencing that long awaited, exquisite dance with my prince charming.

The late night and the rigorous exercise make for a tough morning after. It's slow going for the first few hours. However, this morning my hands worked fairly well even before my morning meds kicked in- a very good sign. The emotional high I get from dancing always brings back a higher level of function to my body; the mind/body thing. It is one of my greatest weapons for battling the Parkinson's monster. It is consistently successful in restoring mental and physical stability. So I keep doing it. I get frustrated as I subconsciously compare my sometimes awkward, unsteady posture or steps to other dancers who are free of such a disease. I envy their energy. So I dance in front of the mirror to correct anything that has a Parkinson's look. Periodically I have a friend video us doing a dance so I can watch myself and again make corrections to details I see that are a bit on the uncoordinated side. I have improved a lot by being able to watch myself. My eyes are always watching other dancers, storing away techniques, postures and attitudes.

I love to choreograph and teach where I am qualified. I hope to have opportunities in the future to do more of it. My dear husband always supports and follows my desires and dreams. I am blessed to have him.